within myself is a metaphorical apex of existence at which I am held in being by my Creator

THOU: Where is your silence, Lord? My head is full of noise this morning, replaying days of things I've said. I am listening in as though I have something to say in response. I am trying to speak to you, but it is like speaking in a din. I know I'm sleepless with long weeks of working and talking, this is all. It is nothing to have so many crowded rooms talking at once, I know, though it feels heavy. I cannot hear you. And I am tired. I am tired of the sound of my own voice.

Sometimes teaching is heavy this way.

My body is heavy. I've been carrying it around too long like a sack of groceries. Now I am saying: you take it. I want to watch you lift my body weightless in your grip, carry me through your door to your table, and make your meal of me. I want to watch you eat, Lord, to watch you dip your spoon into my heart while you hold it in your hand, to watch my heart spoon up like rich thick cream. I want to watch the divots your spoon makes in my flesh fill with living blood. Wrench me open with your hands. Consume me with the mouth that utters me. Oh I am afraid Lord. I am afraid. But I know you will come to me, you will not forsake me, even if (remembering myself) I forget giving myself ever to you.

Re-member me, Lord, that I may always remember you.

In the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. To God who is, who was, and who is to come, now and forever.

Amen.

...

"It is in affliction itself that the splendor of God's mercy shines, from its very depths, in the heart of its inconsolable bitterness. If still persevering in our love, we fall to the point where the soul cannot keep back the cry 'My God, why has thou forsaken me?' If we remain at this point without ceasing to love, we end by touching something that is not affliction, not joy, something that is the central essence, necessary and pure, something not of the senses, common to joy and sorrow: the very love of God."

--Simone Weil

...

"Yes, indeed I am still ready to receive your vow on March 25."

...